Tonight was Heaven. Just absolute, unbridled, unqualified Heaven. Mostly. Evelyn is holding out on the new website design in a bid to get more cash, people at the equator are lighter, and Sam’s Club has Mexican Coke. Dead people are going to start banging, Evelyn wants Adobe Inc. to control the English language, and private citizens are shilling for sports franchises without compensation. Michael suggests making clocks out of dead mice, Evelyn fears being fired by Michael, and Oliver Stone is a lying jism satchel.
The show tonight could be seen as perhaps one of the greatest moments in recorded human history. Michael treats Evelyn like she has a penis, Evelyn used to sit isolated in a room while someone screamed “Asshole!!!” at her in a quest for enlightenment, and Michael hopes to addict the world with the Marlboro Blend 27. Obama and Hitler have much in common, Evelyn wants to suicide bomb PETA, the Earth Liberation Front needs your pledged contributions today, Nabila is hot, and the Swine Flu is bull crap.
If you listened live to this show, you were listening to brilliance as it happened. Floating caskets are creepy, Michael wants to hurt Evelyn, and Evelyn’s sister was left on a pile of AstroTurf. Evelyn is a bleeding heart who doesn’t want to fry people, Michael wants soldiers to smoke, and kidnapping kids is bad. The Pope is a douche, pandas should move on to bologna, and the future will bring us hair curlers made of something called “plastic.”