Tonight’s broadcast set a new record in length. And girth. Evelyn’s son is now into cannibalism, we have a recipe for becoming an anonymous Lotto winner, and the Western Digital TV Live has Michael feeling tingly and stimulated. MiniNova goes legal and their users go AWOL, with the right amount of concrete and steel you can own your own country, and if you’re having marital problems just remember it could always be worse. Just ask a woman in New Zealand. Comcast wants to run the Internet (and the world), Curtis Thornton will eat whatever you tell him to, and you can now purchase your very own nuclear reactor.