**UPDATE 1/31/08** Did you see the news today? I really do believe I will be keeping my money.

I just read that the Associated Press has written Britney Spears' obituary. As you're probably aware, they usually do this for celebrities who are aging or sick so that if the celeb dies, their entire life story can be placed on a website or in a newspaper within minutes of the death announcement. However, in the case of Spears, they've seen fit to take care of business sooner rather than later. I can't say I blame them. As a matter of fact, I'm betting $50 Britney will be dead before this countdown clock expires somewhere around July 15. If I'm wrong, it will cost me $50. Here's what you do: Take a peek at this post from time to time and get a look at the countdown clock. If Britney dies before this clock expires, I keep my $50 (YESSSSS!!!!). However, if she DOESN'T die before the clock expires, the first person to email me and tell me I'm wrong will receive $50 via the payment method of your choosing (HRRRUMPH!!).

There are, unfortunately, a couple of rules here. First, you have to be a member of this website to win. No exceptions. Second, and most importantly, you must be a member AT LEAST one month prior to the expiration of the clock. Third, don't try sending the email BEFORE the clock expires in an attempt to supplant your competition. I have already anticipated this tactic and will post the nude pictures you took with me in the event you attempt this preemptively diffused salvo. In other words, I'll know what you did... literally, down to the second.

Yes, we're all aware $50 isn't exactly going to make the IRS interested in you, but who doesn't want $50? Exactly. Let the games begin.

Watup. We have a new message board. CLICK HERE to see it. You might love the premise of the new board. You might also hate it. All viewpoints are invited to sign up and begin posting until your fingers bleed. Don't let the domain name scare you.

I have had a couple emails from people who are troubled by my decision to start this new message board. Clearly these people have not read the material contained here at UFOShip very carefully at all. I am an ART BELL FAN. Period. I am not a fan of whatever slab of meat they happen to throw in front of the microphone to host Coast to Coast AM as a means of keeping the show on the air. Keeping in touch with the genre, for me, isn't important enough to suffer through that. Cheers.

If you are a 911 "truth" movement member, I invite you to view the following 3 videos from The Opie and Anthony Show. Please get a good long look at the company you've been keeping. Way to go. I'd also like to take you on a blast from the past as we dig deep into the UFOShip archives with THIS GEM. Enjoy.

Do you remember Bathroom Tour 2007? Well, it's back in full force as we make our way to this cozy lavatory in Englewood, OH. Peacefully nestled behind the BP gas station just off Interstate 70, this restroom has an independent heating system which will come in handy during those unforgiving Ohio Winters. In a hurry? Don't bother wasting time to ask the clerk for a key attached to the end of a broom handle. That's right, folks. It's unlocked 24/7. Just walk right in! And since it's unisex, you won't have to worry about the strange looks you get when you exit what you thought was the men's room. It obviously caters to an intellectual, philosophically driven clientele who are happy to leave short, pensive expressions of wit for your consideration.

Seating can be very important, and this bathroom delivers where many others are cutting corners. A full, open-front toilet seat provides maximum support with minimal physical contact. This means easy business with fewer germs, and being mildly obsessive-compulsive, this is something I look for in a restroom. However, I must report that I was somewhat unimpressed with the tile floor pattern which consists of a series of black lines running in a vertical pattern joined perpendicularly by a series of equally ubiquitous vertical lines which come together to form something of a repeating "square" shape. This design is seemingly inspired by French Impressionism with subtle overtones of Arte Povera. A bold choice, but it failed to reach me on the emotional level the architect seems to have been endeavoring toward.

Political persuasion is an American pastime, and this restroom has clearly served as an idealogical vessel for the intellectuals of our time. While opinionated and passionate, they have apparently chosen to yield to the greater good of the discussion by leaving room for future commentary using the marker or ink pen of your choosing. I would recommend a felt-tipped permanent marker as opposed to the more prominent ball-point pen as it is more conducive to equal participation in the discussion on this type of surface.